God's Divine Hand

Thursday, August 6, 2009

With yesterday's excitement starting to fade back into daily life, reality has started setting in. I won't lie and tell you that I'm not a little nervous about having another child. I realize the weight of our actions and the added responsibility of our choices. However, I also know that nothing worthwhile is easy and that God promises He will never give us more than He thinks we can handle. He blessed us with this gift for a reason and knew that we could handle it. It's going to be a huge adjustment for us, not only financially, but mentally and spiritually, too. Matt has the larger responsibility to provide for, guide, and lead this family - pressure I know he's more than willing to face whole-heartedly. And as for me - well, I have to take care of them! I just pray that God gives us the strength, patience, endurance, wisdom, guidance, and faith to raise and grow our family to God's standard and will. That has always been my prayer and probably always will be. You have to be good, godly parents in order to raise good, godly parents.

This whole experience, however, has been a testament to God's amazing grace, mercy, and love. Matt and I reflected yesterday on the five years we spent childless. We realize now that it was a blessing in disguise; we were so not ready to raise children when we still acted like ones ourselves! God spared us from so much and, although it was incredibly heartbreaking, I'm thankful for the time we had before Robby came into our lives. It gave us time to get saved, grow, and mature into who we are today. How quickly we were able to conceive with this child proves nothing short of God's hand in our infertility. He closed my womb for a reason. He made me barren for a reason. He broke our hearts for a reason. No one wants to admit that or think about that, but it's the truth. How else could you explain no medical reason why we couldn't conceive? Or why only after a month of getting saved we were all of a sudden pregnant? Why was it so easy to conceive this time? Because God had His divine hand in all of it. How fortunate am I to have such a loving and caring Creator in control of my life! He knows far more than I do and will always know exactly what is best for us - even when we'd like to think different. I pray I never doubt Him again and always trust in His gracious plan for our lives.

Please pray for us as we embark on this new journey and new chapter in our lives.