When babies are born, it's supposed to be a happy time for families, but unfortunately, right now it's bittersweet. I got a call from my mother-in-law this morning informing us that Matt's grandfather, who was diagnosed with cancer not too long ago, is slipping in and out of a coma and probably doesn't have much longer to live.
I can't say that I don't feel slightly guilty for throwing a baby into the mix. I feel like I just stepped into a funeral with a bunch of balloons yelling "surprise!". I know God has this all planned out and it's meant to be this way for a reason, but it's tough to gauge what to feel at the moment other than numb. Do I feel sad that there's going to be a death in the family soon or happy that a new life is about to begin? Better yet - how do I feel both at the same time? Does not compute. I'm trying to be strong for my husband and his family because I know what they're going through since I lost my uncle to cancer in 2006, but I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything that's going on. It's like a destruction derby of emotions.
On the ironic side, I've read that it's common that babies are born after a death in the family. Even more ironic, I was born four days after my great-grandfather died and my mother was born shortly after her grandfather died. Perhaps we're just continuing on this morbid tradition. I just wish Robby would have had the pleasure of knowing this part of his family. At least he has the honor of sharing his great-grandfather's name and I'll make sure that he knows it and wears it with pride.
[Edit] Matt's grandfather passed away on the morning of July 19th, but was aware of the birth of his great-grandson. Even in his comatose state, he raised his eyebrows twice and smiled when told that Baby Robby was on his way.
