Marshall Boy User Manual

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Matt and I are escaping to Boise for an anniversary date on Friday. This is quite the event since we became parents - we're leaving the boys with a sitter overnight. Other than when Drew was born and my step-mom stayed here, the boys have never spent the night at someone else's house. Scary. We're quite excited to get away, though - especially me. I look forward to not being a mom for 24 hours!

I thought it would be nice to provide our friends with a rundown of the boys, since they come with their own "requirements". So, instead of trying to remember everything and hurriedly briefing them, I decided to be creative and write a user manual of sorts. I gave myself a chuckle, so I thought I'd share.

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User Manual for the Marshall Boy - Versions 1.0 and 2.0

Thank you for your care of the Marshall Boy Versions 1.0 and 2.0! We hope that you enjoy many hours of fun and laughter as you give great relief to the Owners, who are quite grateful of your kindness

General Care of the Marshall Boy

Fueling the Marshall Boy

Feeding the Marshall Boy (MB) can be fun, but messy experience. MBs are not picky, but do require certain substances to fuel their runtime.
  • MB 1.0 (Alias "The Robby") requires NO DAIRY. Acceptions are prepared foods that contain small amounts of dairy or lactose (i.e. bread, baked goods). Dairy will cause The Robby to expel foul-smelling liquids from it's Rear Hatch, causing redness and crying. Almond milk will be provided, but only give The Robby one glass a day. Juice is acceptable, but water is better.
  • MB 2.0 (Alias "The Drew") requires two 8oz. bottles of formula a day - one after Morning Waking Sequence and one just before Night Recharge. The Drew is Finger Foods Ready and has been upgraded to Feed Myself status. The Drew requires soft fruits, cooked and cooled vegetables, small pieces of meat, crackers, bread, dry cereal (i.e. Kix, Life, Cheerios), or a jar of MB 2.0 sanctioned food. WARNING: The Drew has been known to gorge itself. Fuel until The Drew is satisfied. The Hungry Alarm will sound if The Drew requires more fueling.
  • Both versions require chlorophyll in order to function properly. One teaspoon twice a day in the MBs' fluids is the minimum requirement.

Recharging the Marshall Boy

Eventually, your MBs' batteries will require charging. Taking these precautions will allow you to enjoy your MB and avoid certain Meltdown of your MB. WARNING: The MB will sound a Meltdown Alarm before the Implodation Seqence will run. When the alarm sounds, you have small window of time to dock the MB and prevent Implodation. NOTE: The Owners are not responsible for any injuries and/or damages caused by MB Meltdown or Implodation.
  • Both versions require simultaneous charging. Dock your MB in it's Sleep Pod around 8pm for Night Recharge and 1pm for Day Recharge. Both versions require accessories (included) in order to charge correctly. Both require Rear Hatch Cover change, full Stomach Compartments, music, and white noise (i.e. a fan).
  • The Drew requires the included Comfort Cloth ("Cuddle Blanket") and Mouth Port Cap ("Pacifier") in order to charge correctly.
  • The Robby requires included Comfort Cloth and Bear Attachment ("Hershey") accessories.
  • Both versions should charge for no less than two hours. Attempt to re-dock if either decides to run Automatic Wake Sequences - especially at night. Neither require night refueling unless it's absolutely needed for Version 2.0.
  • Cuddling and/or rocking may be required. MB's are unsure of new surroundings and may sound a Distress Alarm and won't charge properly.

Playing with the Marshall Boy

This is the main MB objective. The Play Sequence will run on your MB until you make it stop or the Meltdown Alarm sounds. WARNING: MBs will spasm erratically when tickled. NOTE: The Owners are not responsible for any injuries and/or damages caused by MB Play Sequences or flying parts during tickling.

Miscellaneous Information
  • Both versions lack Rear Hatch Alarms. Check for waste dumps frequently.
  • The Drew is generating new Fuel Grinders. If Pain Alarm sounds, give The Drew 0.8ml of Infant Tylenol and cuddle accordingly.
  • The Drew has also started it's Walking Sequence, but isn't very good at it. Watch for bumps and bruises.
  • The Robby was infected by the Argue Virus and Backtalk Bug recently. Combat these with Discipline as needed. Also, The Robby has a Little Cough. Dose with 3/4 t. of Dimetap when needed.

Contact Us

If you are not fully satisfied with your MB or have a question concerning either version, please call our 24-hour hotline at ------- or -------. If there is a dire emergency because of the MB or the Owners, please contact Cheryl (Alias "The Aunt") at -------.

Thank you again for your care of the Marshall Boy and good luck.
 
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