Trust & Rejoice

I'd have to say that my number one worry has always been money. We live comfortably; not extravagantly by any means, but we are definitely without need. However, money problems rear their ugly head from time to time, this being one of those times. God has always been faithful and provided and now is no different, but it's taken quite a few lessons in faith (along with a good helping of stumbling) to trust Him 100% in His promises lately. With the mistakes made with our taxes, extra, unexpected expenses popping up, and now having to deal with fraudulent charges made to my debit card, I've been weak in faith and find myself fretting over "getting by" until things even out again. But has it stolen my joy? Honest answer - sometimes. I admit I have found myself spiritually depressed from time to time. Thankfully, the impending arrival of Drew has been a good distraction for me when I think about him finally being here; when I can finally hold both my precious sons and praise God for His wondrous blessings upon us. But then my flesh takes over and I start hyperventilating over hospital bills and the cost of diapers. Forgive me my weakness, Lord. I still have so much growing to do.

I know this is only a season and is for our good and His glory. God is faithful and merciful. Until then, I must trust in Him and not my pocketbook. My ultimate joy comes from Jesus Christ and the promise of His return, not in men or money. Please pray for strength in the Lord, that He may be glorified as we weather through the storm.

I found this puritan prayer on rejoicing in God. I absolutely love these prayers, as they have so much reverence for the Lord.

Remember, O My Soul,

It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God:

He requires it of thee for all his favours of grace.
Rejoice then in the Giver and his goodness,

Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,
for whatever a man trusts in,
from that he expects happiness.

He who is the ground of thy faith
should be the substance of thy joy.

Whence then come heaviness and dejection,
when joy is sown in thee,
promised by the Father,
bestowed by the Son,
inwrought by the Holy Spirit,
thine by grace,
thy birthright in believing?

Art thou seeking to rejoice in thyself
from an evil motive of pride and self-reputation?
Thou hast nothing of thine own but sin,
nothing to move God to be gracious,
or to continue his grace towards thee.

If thou forget this thou wilt lose thy joy.
Art thou grieving under a sense of indwelling sin?
Let godly sorrow work repentance,
as the true spirit which the Lord blesses,
and which creates fullest joy;

Sorrow for self opens rejoicing in God,
Self-loathing draws down divine delights.
Hast thou sought joys in some creature comfort?
Look not below God for happiness;
fall not asleep in Delilah’s lap.
Let God be all in all to thee, and joy in the fountain that is always full.

Taken from "The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers", edited by Arthur Bennett