Finally finished Drew's blanket! Only took me...months...off and on. A giant granny square in blue, green, and yellow. I wanted something vibrant and different. I'm pleased and I hope Drew is, too.

Drew Update - Last Checkup!

Well, it looks as if we're going to coast into D-Day as we hoped for. Of course, we're still four days out, but I don't anticipate anything drastic happening between now and then. I'm sure I just jinxed myself, but here's praying.

I waddled into my appointment incredibly sore, stiff, and sleepy thanks to a walk around Walmart yesterday and a very uncomfortable, restless night last night. I was assured, once more, that it was normal to have pelvic pain - much to my dismay. My blood pressure is steady, but still high. Same with my weight and protein. My non-stress test turned out just fine. Drew was a little "feisty" today and decided to kick angrily at the monitor during the test. I think we're both tired of the current situation and ready for a change for comfort's sake. My fluid checked out perfect again, but even the technician noted just how "crammed" he looks in there. On a side note, I was assured that Drew's legs do in fact bend - the tech showed me his little legs bent underneath his bottom. I felt kind of silly, but I was thankful to see that his legs indeed do bend. After that, I saw the doctor - after quite a wait, as they were behind...again. When the doctor came in, he checked to see if I was dilated. I hate that part. Very uncomfortable. I didn't expect much, either. I only made it to 2cm with Robby and that was with drugs and one harrowing day. As I suspected, the doctor found that I was not dilated whatsoever and I was told that it was for the best that I had my c-section already planned, as I more than likely would have ended up in the same fiasco as last time, minus the induction. I'm glad I planned ahead, too - I'm VERY ready to not be pregnant anymore! The doctor filled out my surgery orders and confirmed my time - 1:50pm on Tuesday. I have to fast eight hours ahead of time and show up at least two hours prior to my surgery.

As I rode the elevator down, it hit me. Everything became very real. In just four day's time, we were going to have a brand new baby boy to snuggle and share. It's not like I haven't been aware of Drew's coming. I'm "reminded" quite frequently with his nudges and kicks. It's just a lot more different this time around, since I know exactly when he'll be coming. With Robby, everything was incredibly up in the air. It's very controlled this time. Vastly different experiences. On the downside, I'm slightly anxious about my surgery. Knowing what to expect is weirding me out a little. I'm not afraid of the "what-if's" so much. Just being aware of everything that's going on. Everything was so rushed with Robby that I didn't have time to think about what they were doing to me. Again, it's going to be vastly different this time. Pray I don't fret about it so much that I end up making things worse. I know God is ultimately in control and either way, things will work out for our good and His glory.

I just want to note - Cher is awesome. Not only was she nice enough to come and watch Robby for me while I was at the doctor's office, but she also washed our dishes, tidied up our kitchen counter, and changed one heck of a poop-bomb diaper (from what I hear). I am very grateful - especially that I didn't have to change that diaper. A big thank you to her for her help!

I'll make sure to update one more time before Tuesday and I hope to update again at the hospital after Drew is born. Here's praying for WI-FI.

Need a Job?

POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mama

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life.
» Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

» Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

» Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

» Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

» Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

» Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

» Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

» Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

» Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Drew Update

Just a quick update this time, as I don't have anything really new to report.

My doctor's appointment went very smoothly. I had another non-stress test. I kind of "cheated" this time and made sure to drink a glass of apple juice before going in. Yeah, don't judge me - you wouldn't want to lay there on that table for 50 minutes either! Drew "performed" beautifully and it was done and over with in the allotted 15 minutes. I also had another ultrasound to check my fluid levels - perfect again. Everything is steady (blood pressure included) and if God allows it to remain that way, we should be able to coast to the end. Here's praying.

I go back in for my last prenatal checkup, non-stress test, and fluid check next Friday morning and then Baby Drew will make his grand entrance the following Tuesday afternoon. Yikes, that's close! Matt and I are starting to get really excited, now. We can't wait to introduce Robby to his new little brother!

God & Robby's Impeccable Timing

Alright, Becky. Just for you.

This morning I had a horrid dream that really shook me up. Normally, I would have probably would have thought it was an odd one and then went on with my morning, but my current hormonal state - or should I say, unstable state - has caused me to be quite...shall we say, "volatile"? After having a decent-sized pregnancy meltdown last night, the dream in question wasn't met well when I woke up this morning.

In this dream, I ended up meeting up with Matt on a train. No big deal, right? He was with his wife and children. Yeah, that's where it gets interesting. I had come into this dream with assumption that Matt and I were married. Wrong. He knew who I was, but only as the wicked ex-girlfriend that had broken his heart a long time ago and I was greeted with some surprise and and slight trepidation. Come to find out, we never did get married. I had declined his marriage proposal that night and we ended up going our separate ways; him continuing on with college, becoming very successful in his career, marrying a gorgeous, thin woman, and then fathering four beautiful children - all dark-haired and brown-eyed just like him. I kept yelling at him, "But you married me! That isn't your wife! These aren't your kids! Robby's your son! And we're about to have another!" At this point, his wife started to shield their children from me as her eyes darted between her husband and my mid-section. I followed her gaze down. No baby bump. It's also at this point I started panicking, wondering where Robby was. My whole world was falling apart. No husband, no son, no baby, no comprehension, no sense - nothing! The train stopped and Matt and his family started to get up and leave. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, "I hope you find what you're looking for...and some help." He didn't say it mockingly. Only in his loving genuine concern voice that so often comforts me now. I wept. Thankfully, it's at this point I woke up, only to find my bed empty. I knew Matt was at work and I could hear Robby happily chatter away on the baby monitor, but I still wanted to cry.

I got up, put on my glasses, and headed for Robby's room. He looked at me with much concern, probably wondering why his mother was sobbing like a baby. I got him dressed and prepared his breakfast. As I sat him down in his highchair to eat, he looked around the room and out spilled those two innocent, yet striking words - "Where Daddy?" Now, of all days, my son decides to start speaking in two-worded sentences! I lost it again and decided now would be a good time to call Matt. I knew he was there and I knew he was mine, but I just wanted to hear his voice. Thankfully, like in the dream, he didn't mock me, but did see the irony in our son's comment, as did my friend, Becky. "...you have to admit, that was innocent, EXCELLENT timing on Robby's part, " she told me this morning, after sharing the whole experience on Facebook. "I believe God has a sense of humor."

I agreed, but this has had me pondering a lot today. I admit the thought of God poking fun at my expense made me kind of cranky for awhile, but then it made me realize the real point. Whether it was the intention of the dream or not, it was snapping me back into reality and making me see the foolishness of my thoughts and worries and how I take for granted the blessings in my life. During my meltdown last night, I was fretting over Drew coming and how hard it was going to be to care for two kids and how I wasn't ready because I still had so much to do and...yada yada yada. Silly things! God blessed me with this whole experience and I'm fretting over getting the pantry in the kitchen clean? As my friend also told me, "Your husband's love for you radiates, Jenn. You are a blessed lady." God could have very easily NOT blessed me with this life with Matt. We could have met, dated, and then went our separate ways like in the dream, but that didn't happen. No. God brought us together, kept us together, saved us both, saved our marriage, and now is about to bless us with a second child. Not only is that an immense, undeserved blessing, but I have the PRIVILEGE to be this wonderful man's wife and to raise his children when someone else could have very easily taken my place. I let anxiety cause me to stumble once more and I lost perspective on just how much God has given me. I GET to be a mother again, when only 2 1/2 years ago I was considered "barren". I GET to make my husband a father again, when once the guilt of not being able to consumed me. I GET to raise these children and share in the joys and sorrows of parenthood with him. And, most importantly, I GET to glorify God in ALL of it. What a privilege! So, to answer my son's question, Daddy's at work for the time being, but here with us by the grace of God.

Oh, how I yearn for Heaven, when I can shed this sinful flesh.

Robby Update

I realized yesterday while talking to my grandma that Drew's been stealing a lot of the spotlight lately and I haven't updated on Robby in a really long time. Sorry, Rob!

Robby continues to fascinate, amuse, and delight us every day, it seems. He's very much a little boy, now. He loves to wrestle with his daddy and other little boys from church. He'll lay on the floor and play with his cars and trucks for hours, pretending and making lots of engine noises ("Vroom!" "Beep-beep!"). He loves to be read to (or read aloud to his stuffed animals) and some of his favorites are "The Monster at the End of This Book", "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom", and "Go Dog. Go!", but really isn't picky - he'll keep bringing you book after book if you'll let him. He has an obsession with cookies and will "argue" with you over whether there's actually cookies in the house or not - usually with a gigantic smile on his face. He absolutely loves to color and will ask for his crayons and for me to print out a coloring sheet for him. He's very good about staying on the paper, but I usually tape the sheet to a flattened cardboard box just in case (most of these pictures go to Daddy when he gets home from work, which makes Matt's day). He loves to watch any of the PBS Kids shows, Bob the Builder, Cars (the movie), and his Leap Frog movie ("The Letter Factory") and will actually sit for extended periods of time to watch them. He loves going to the park and sliding down the slides head-first, but is terrified of the swings. He loves animals - especially cats, which make him crack up laughing when he sees one. He's a pretty good listener and is always eager to help - especially when it comes to helping Daddy put something together by holding the tools and helping him push the trigger on the power screwdriver. He's been a pretty big help to me in my very pregnant days fetching various items for me and picking stuff up off the floor for me. He picks up his toys at night before bed - sometimes with some hesitation, but usually not much. He's still a very good sleeper and he loves his toddler bed. He has only fallen out once and gotten up without permission once since we got it the beginning of February. He's very, very talkative and tries to repeat most words we try to teach him. He knows many of the "important" words, like "hi", "bye", "please", "thank you", "night-night", and "sorry". He hasn't tried to string words together yet, but has brought one of Matt's socks to me and said, "Daddy's sock" and will tell me to "come on, Mama" when we're headed out the door for church on Sunday mornings (since I'm usually the one lagging behind). He has started recognizing letters and numbers - not specific ones, but he knows that they're letters and numbers and not just pictures of something (usually letters are all "E" and numbers are all "nine" for some reason). He knows quite a few body parts and articles of clothing and will point them out to you or on you. He's started recognizing himself in the mirror or in pictures and will say his name ("Rorry! Rorry!") excitedly. He knows where Baby Drew dwells for now and will point to my belly when you ask him where the baby is ("Baby Joo!"). He is a major socialite and will dance and perform for whoever will stand there long enough - usually at church, where he's a celebrity of sort and gets lots of attention. He'll even "flirt" with the girls at church by dancing and acting goofy for them, making them giggle, which only encourages him more (quite the Casanova). He is very active and loves to run, play, and dance. He's incredibly affectionate and loves to give hugs and kisses. He makes us laugh, he always keeps us guessing, and his personality is so much bigger than he is. We can't remember what our life was like before the Lord blessed us with our precious little boy. He is such a blessing and a joy to us!

Cheese!

Go ahead. Try not to smile.

Drew Update

This checkup was rather simple - in theory. I went in, they checked my blood pressure (140/90 - it was a hectic morning), weighed me (we won't go there), and then the nurse took me back for a non-stress test. If you're unfamiliar with fetal non-stress tests, basically they have you lay there with a little "trigger" (something that resembles a buzzer from a game show) that you hit everytime you feel your baby move while they monitor the baby's heartrate. It was supposed to only take 15 minutes. All they wanted was four movements in that time period. Simple right? Not for my stubborn children, evidently. 15 minutes turned into 50 minutes, when the little squirt finally decided to play along. Argh. With that over with, I was supposed to go in and have my fluid levels checked (kind of like a Buick, you know) via ultrasound. Come to find out, they were way backed up in the office, so I had to sit and wait for the doctor instead, which took awhile since they were so swamped. Finally, the doctor came in (one I had not met before, but he was really, really nice). He looked everything over and said that everything was looking really good. They just need to continue monitoring my blood pressure closely. He said that the baby looked really active (when he wants to be) and that I would only need to do a non-stress test once a week (more serious cases require multiple times a week) unless things change. He also said that unless I was feeling any cramping or noticed any bleeding, he didn't feel the need to check to see if I was dilated (not that it matters, really). I told him that I was only feeling normal pregnancy discomforts, much to my dismay. With the ultrasound room still filled, I had to wait some more in the waiting room. 15-20 minutes later, I finally got called back. Thankfully, it was just a quick look at the fluid around the baby, which looked "perfect", according to the nurse. She also noted that Drew had finally found his way downward and was no longer breech. Good news, I suppose, but would make sense why I'm waddling around like a geriatric penguin (I had to just for my Facebook friends). My next appointment will be next Friday morning and I was informed that my c-section is still scheduled for March 30th, but they're unsure of the time. I may not know until the day before. Yikes!

That's all I have for you for now. Things seem to be going smoothly for now, so please continue to keep us in your prayers. Just wanna make it to the 30th in one piece!

Chicken & Black Bean Quesadillas Recipe

I'm always on the look-out for quick, easy recipes for dinner. I decided to head over to Campbell's website to see what they had, knowing they always have a plethora of simple and tasty meals. We decided to try this one first and were very impressed. Even Robby liked these quesadillas! And don't let the canned chicken scare you. I've personally never bought canned chicken before because it kind of made my stomach churn, but I was pleasantly surprised. You can substitute cooked and shredded chicken breasts if you'd like. I just like the ease of opening a can and dumping it in.

Chicken & Black Bean Quesadillas Recipe

1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cheddar Cheese Soup
1/2 cup Pace® Chunky Salsa or Picante Sauce
1 cup rinsed and drained canned black beans
2 cans (4.5 ounces each) Swanson® Premium White Chunk Chicken Breast in Water, drained
10 flour tortillas (8-inch), warmed

1. Heat the oven to 425°F.

2. Heat the soup, salsa, beans and chicken in a 1-quart saucepan over medium heat until the mixture is hot and bubbling.

3. Place the tortillas onto 2 baking sheets.  Spread about 1/3 cup soup mixture onto half of each tortilla to within 1/2 inch of the edge.  Brush the edges of the tortillas with water.  Fold the tortillas over the filling and press the edges to seal.

4. Bake for 5 minutes or until the filling is hot. Cut the quesadillas in half, making 20 pieces.

As Long As You Are Glorified

A truly God-honoring and sin-convicting song.

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Trust & Rejoice

I'd have to say that my number one worry has always been money. We live comfortably; not extravagantly by any means, but we are definitely without need. However, money problems rear their ugly head from time to time, this being one of those times. God has always been faithful and provided and now is no different, but it's taken quite a few lessons in faith (along with a good helping of stumbling) to trust Him 100% in His promises lately. With the mistakes made with our taxes, extra, unexpected expenses popping up, and now having to deal with fraudulent charges made to my debit card, I've been weak in faith and find myself fretting over "getting by" until things even out again. But has it stolen my joy? Honest answer - sometimes. I admit I have found myself spiritually depressed from time to time. Thankfully, the impending arrival of Drew has been a good distraction for me when I think about him finally being here; when I can finally hold both my precious sons and praise God for His wondrous blessings upon us. But then my flesh takes over and I start hyperventilating over hospital bills and the cost of diapers. Forgive me my weakness, Lord. I still have so much growing to do.

I know this is only a season and is for our good and His glory. God is faithful and merciful. Until then, I must trust in Him and not my pocketbook. My ultimate joy comes from Jesus Christ and the promise of His return, not in men or money. Please pray for strength in the Lord, that He may be glorified as we weather through the storm.

I found this puritan prayer on rejoicing in God. I absolutely love these prayers, as they have so much reverence for the Lord.

Remember, O My Soul,

It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God:

He requires it of thee for all his favours of grace.
Rejoice then in the Giver and his goodness,

Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,
for whatever a man trusts in,
from that he expects happiness.

He who is the ground of thy faith
should be the substance of thy joy.

Whence then come heaviness and dejection,
when joy is sown in thee,
promised by the Father,
bestowed by the Son,
inwrought by the Holy Spirit,
thine by grace,
thy birthright in believing?

Art thou seeking to rejoice in thyself
from an evil motive of pride and self-reputation?
Thou hast nothing of thine own but sin,
nothing to move God to be gracious,
or to continue his grace towards thee.

If thou forget this thou wilt lose thy joy.
Art thou grieving under a sense of indwelling sin?
Let godly sorrow work repentance,
as the true spirit which the Lord blesses,
and which creates fullest joy;

Sorrow for self opens rejoicing in God,
Self-loathing draws down divine delights.
Hast thou sought joys in some creature comfort?
Look not below God for happiness;
fall not asleep in Delilah’s lap.
Let God be all in all to thee, and joy in the fountain that is always full.

Taken from "The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers", edited by Arthur Bennett

Ultrasound - 35 Weeks

Stuck in his contortionist ways, Drew had his feet over his head again. We got a pretty cute 3D shot of his little foot, though. Yes, there's five toes there. The pinky toe's hard to make out.

Much Different Experience

I want to stress this first - the baby is just fine. In fact, he's perfect from what the ultrasound showed. He's measuring perfect and is perfectly healthy.

That being said, now the details. I went in feeling rather guarded, not knowing what to expect. My blood pressure has remained steady, but they still consider it "high" (130/90). Normal for me (and better than with Robby), though. They did the ultrasound first (the pictures are the worst by far, but I was told that they're not great this late in the pregnancy anyways) and the nurse assured me that everything was looking great. The baby is breech right now, but it isn't a problem since I'm having a c-section. The doctor came in (one I had seen before and like) and he agreed that everything was looking good. "Now, " I said, "Honestly - do you really believe everything is fine?" I briefly explained my horrible experience with Dr. Doom last time and how I left the office crying. He apologized for my rotten appointment and once again assured me that everything was as it should be. "We'll still be doing stress tests every week from now on because of your blood pressure, unless things change for the worst - then you'll get them multiple times a week." He spared me the stress test this time since the ultrasound was enough to show that the baby was indeed fine. I asked if it was truly necessary and he explained to me that high blood pressure can effect the placenta and, in turn, stress the baby, who won't urinate as much, thus making the fluid level drop (I'm not making this up). Whether this is really true or not, I don't know, but it sounded logical to me. Most of the amniotic fluid at this point is his "urine", so I guess it all makes sense. Anyways - we scheduled my c-section and then the doctor left me to clothe myself again (had to "dress-down" for a Hep B test), but popped back a couple minutes later. He explained that the surgery schedule for Friday, April 2nd was already very full and that it might be better that we do it on March 30th instead. "Also, " he said, "I'm concerned that your blood pressure's not going to hold out until then. You've done well so far, but I have a bad feeling it may spike in the end. Not good." Understatement. So, it looks like Drew will be born on the 30th, not the 2nd. I'm slightly bummed about this, since I was excited to be having a Good Friday baby, but it actually works out pretty well. Matt's vacation was originally scheduled for the week of the 29th (he would have been able to switch weeks with someone else prior) and my step mom, Kathy, will be flying in on April 1st and staying until the 10th, which means I'll have plenty of help. So, March 30th it is. Still waiting on an exact time, though. It looks like I'll be getting the same doctor that delivered Robby, though, which is pretty neat. My next appointment is next Thursday, the 11th. Will update then.

Update - Taxes & Drew

It's been a tad crazy around here as of late. I know that's only about to get worse.

In addition to trying to scramble to get everything prepared for Baby Drew, we've been dealing with some "financial issues", if you will. There was a hiccup with our tax refund, which we thought was e-filed the beginning of February. A few days before we were expecting our refund to be deposited into our bank account, an amount differing from our expected federal tax refund showed up. I didn't think much about it at the time, but still felt it was a little weird. I moved it over to our savings and waited for our state tax refund to come. A day or so later, our bank called. Come to find out, someone else's refund had been accidentally deposited into our account and they needed me to move the money back over to the account it had been originally deposited to so they could withdraw it and send it back to the IRS. Great. Lucky for this gentleman, we hadn't spent the money yet. A couple days later, another odd amount was deposited to our account. I just assumed they had taken care of this gentleman's money and that this was our state tax refund. So, we bought our table. Some time passed and we still hadn't gotten our federal tax refund. I called Cher, who prepared our taxes through a volunteer group. Come to find out, we were smack in the middle of a huge mess up by another tax preparer, who e-filed the other guy's taxes without permission using our bank account number to do it, and that our taxes hadn't even been e-filed yet! Great. So, I had to call the bank again, let them know that they forgot to stop this gentleman's state tax refund from being deposited to our account (which they did, but thought they had), and have them send the amount in question back to the state so this poor guy could get his money - FINALLY. Unfortunately, like I said, it had been spent this time, so I had to clear our savings in order to fix someone else's mistake. Quite frustrating. Thankfully, Cher was willing to spot us some money until OUR (and I do stress "OUR" because this time it better be truly OURS!) refunds come in around March 12th, almost a month later than we were originally expecting our money. What a mess! God has continued to provide despite the mistakes and mess-ups, so our expenses are all covered until next week, thankfully. All parties involved are quite fortunate that they're dealing with honest people! I'm glad it was us and not someone else. I really feel bad for the other guy, who will probably have to wait another month for his refunds to come. Put your faith in man and you'll be disappointed every time. Guaranteed.

Money issues aside, the past weekend proved quite painful for me. I made the mistake of walking part of the mall with my boys and ended up really regretting it. I'm thinking now that it had caused Drew to drop down a bit, causing great pressure and pain for his mother all weekend. Walking was difficult, to say the least. To add to my waddling misery, he spent one night pushing as hard as he could down and then out...down and then out. Over and over again until I was curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out. The next day was even worse. Just walking to the bathroom, which had to occur even more often because of the added weight and pressure to my bladder, was very slow and tear-filled. I spent most of Monday sitting or laying down, only getting up when I absolutely had to. Matt, who had a horrid day at work, stepped up to the plate (no pun intended) and made us dinner (did I mention that I really don't deserve him?). Thankfully today, so far at least, I feel pretty good. As soon as I got up and realized that I didn't have as much pressure pushing down on me and that I could actually walk without crying, I quickly did a couple dire chores before I started to hurt again. I'm going to take it as easy as I can, but there's so much to do still in the next four weeks that I HAVE to get up and do something. Anything! Please pray that Baby Drew lays off Mommy's pelvis long enough for me to get it all done before he gets here. It's crunch time!

A note about my last update on my doctor's appointment - please don't let "Dr. Doom" fool you into thinking I'm falling apart and the baby's in danger. I'm waiting until this week's appointment (Thursday) before drawing any conclusions. I heard from a few other people, who had the "pleasure" of dealing with this woman, that she's notorious for painting incredibly bleak pictures, filled with death and destruction. So, until further notice on the matter - deep breaths. Drew and I are just fine. I appreciate all the prayers and concern, though. Please continue to pray for us.

You Do the Math

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