Nothing to do with parenthood. Just wanting to throw my thoughts out there.
To avoid a long, drawn-out story (just a long, drawn-out blog post), I'll just say that my family had a falling out with my late uncle's ex-wife and his kids after his death. I didn't get to hear both sides of the story due to how hard my uncle's death had hit me and strain between family members. I just assumed that I would never speak to or see that part of my family ever again.
But, of course, I was proven wrong last night. The phone rang and I was shocked by what I saw come up on the caller ID. It was my cousin, Greg, one of Russ' sons. I admit I was skeptical and afraid to answer, so I didn't. What did he want? Why after two years is he calling me? I thought the worst and passed it off as him wanting money or a place to escape to. If he calls back, maybe I'll answer.
Later that evening while I was cooking dinner, the phone rang again. It was him. I hesitantly took the phone from Matt and answered, "Hhhello?" A confident, deep voice answered, "Yes, is this Jennifer?" "Yes it is," I said. "Hi! This is Greg!" he said excitedly. Having not heard his voice in years, remembering it much different, and having another extended family member with the same name, I asked, "As in my cousin, Greg?" "Yes!" He said. "I was just making sure. I was shocked to see it was you calling me and couldn't figure out why the other Greg Callen (an older gentleman I've never even met) would be calling me."
He told me that he had tried to gather the courage to call me for the past couple years and finally felt the urge to look up my number. He seemed genuinely repentant and humble about what had happened and just wanted a relationship with this part of his family again. "We grew up together, but I don't even know you anymore," he told me. "All I know is that you got married. That's it." I told him that I was still married and then told him that we had a baby two months ago, which was complete news to him. "Wow! That's awesome! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" After catching him up on my short life story, he told me that he was working two part-time jobs and going to college to be a para legal. I admit I was shocked. I remembered him as a careless trouble-maker. He told me of his school and career aspirations about continuing college to eventually become a lawyer. I told him, in all honesty, how proud I was of him. He also told me that he was engaged and had hopes of starting a family, but the young lady had chosen to join the Air Force and the long distance relationship would be too difficult for them.
We then talked about his dad and all that had happened. He told his side of things and I told mine. "I didn't realize how sick he really was," he told me. "He kept it quiet from us." "Be glad you didn't really know how sick he was or that you had to witness it. I watched your poor father suffer a slow and painful death," I told him. "He loved you boys until the end, though. That's for sure." I could hear him choking up a bit on the other end.
As we were wrapping up the conversation, he asked me if it would be alright if he could maybe visit when he had a break from school in May. "You're more than welcome here. My door is open," I told him. I also told him that he could call me whenever he wanted to and that I was willing to share with him any information about his dad's last days, having witnessed his whole disease from start to finish. "I appreciate that. I just miss having family. I miss having a relationship with everyone there."
We then said our good-bye's and I mediated on what had just happened. My heart used to be hardened to the idea of anyone from that part of my past approaching me, seeing how they had treated Russ in the end, but I'd like to think that I'm a different person, now. Seeing life through God's eyes, I now see this mature, intelligent, driven, young man I once considered my brother, completely deserving of forgiveness just as my Lord forgives. Worst case scenario - he lied about the whole thing, he tries to take advantage of me, I have nothing to offer him, and we split ways again. But why would he try to take advantage of me, of all people, after all this time and knowing that there's nothing in it for him? It just doesn't make sense, which leads me to believe that he is telling the truth and just wants to know his family again.
I will continue to pray on the matter and let the Lord take it into His hands.
