Our Oregon Coast Honeymoon & Their California Adventure

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Strap yourself in. You're in for a long post.

This vacation was like no other. Instead of going to one location as a family, we split up and went to two different locations -- the boys went to stay with Nana and Matt and I went to Oregon. It was so weird, and Matt and I were sick the whole week, but it ended up being a trip I would I love to be able to repeat someday. Minus the sickness, of course.

As you know, Matt and I have been married for 16 years now, and we never got a honeymoon. We were dirt poor, then. I always wanted to make up for that and decided that I would love to rent a small house on the Oregon Coast for a week. Matt was game, of course; he loves the beach. Last summer, while my mama and aunt were visiting, the topic came up. My aunt, being the planner that she is, sprung into action, and had a whole vacation planned for all of us by the time she went home. They blessed us not only by taking the boys for a week, but by also funding the whole thing.

Looking forward to this trip is one of the few things that got me through the winter, especially during the depressing months. I just couldn't wait to get to the beach. We deep-cleaned our house for about a month to make it presentable for a house/pet sitter and it stressed us all out immensely. Eventually, it got to all of us and a week before we were supposed to leave, Rob came down with a cold. Paranoid, I ended up keeping them both home that week, to ensure that Rob healed and Drew didn't catch it. Unfortunately in the process, I started to fall victim two days before leaving. Matt followed suit a couple days after that. But we carried on with our plans -- everything was already set and paid for, after all. I was so mad that we were getting sick, after all the hard work and waiting we did. But we tried to make the best of it and I'm thankful that we still went.

We left the boys at my grandparents' Friday evening, even though their flight wouldn't be leaving until Sunday. Matt and I left the following morning, later than we initially planned, but it still worked out. We had stayed up pretty late the night before, still folding and packing for our trip. Not having to shuffle the boys around made getting out the door fairly easy. We picked up a quick breakfast and got on the road. My goodness, it was amazing having an uninterrupted conversation with my husband -- fancy that! We listened to his favorite podcasts and talked about anything we wanted. We had set Rob up with a working phone, so him and I texted each other throughout the day.

I sent him pictures of our journey along the way, especially when we met up with the Columbia River. He thought the different bridges and dams along the river were pretty cool and we dove into a small history lesson on Lewis and Clark's journey to find the Pacific Ocean. I'm not sure how much he shared with Drew, or if Drew was even interested, but it was fun connecting with Rob. Although I enjoyed the lack of kid chatter, I still missed them. A little.

After we reached the turnoff to head north to the Tri Cities area, it was completely new territory for us. Oregon just got lovelier and lovelier the farther west we went. I can see the draw to live there. Please excuse my crappy phone photos. My nicer photos of the beach are at the end. It's what I had with me at the time. Here you can see Mount Hood ahead of us, draped with a blanket of snow. Beautiful.

We made our first stop for the night in Molalla, Oregon, where my dear friend, Rebecca, lives. I have known Rebecca for about three or four years online; we actually met on Etsy, as we were both sellers that happened to patronize each other's shops. From there, we started connecting over Facebook, sending each other cards and other goodies via mail. As soon as Matt and I decided where we were going for our trip, I contacted Rebecca to ask her if she was at all interested in maybe meeting up, since we would be driving by, anyways. She didn't hesitate in her answer whatsoever. I booked a hotel in her town, not far from where she lives, and we met her and her wonderful family for dinner that evening in their home. I was unsure how things were going to go and I figured if it was uncomfortable, we could just have dinner and be on our way. But we ended up staying way late, chatting and eating delicious food the whole time. They are amazingly kind people and I so wish that we lived closer -- I'd really love to hang out with them more! Hopefully someday we'll get the chance to meet up again. We were so beat that night and really starting to feel cruddy, but it was so worth the visit.

The next morning we got up and grabbed some quick breakfast and headed for the coast. We had a lot of time to kill, as our cabin in Netarts wouldn't be ready until 4pm. So, we took our time. When we made it to Tillamook, we HAD to stop by the creamery and sample the goods there. Ohmygosh. That was some AMAZING ice cream! We wanted to go back to eat at their cafe there, but we ended up getting too sick and just never made it back, unfortunately. Future trip, I hope.

Also in an effort to waste time, we toured the various state parks in the area. This was the drive near Cape Meares. I couldn't help but be in awe of just how lush and green this part of Oregon was! Coming from dry and barren Southern Idaho, I guess it's not a huge surprise. I drank it up, mainly because it reminded me so much of where I grew up in North Idaho.

Finally, we were able to get into our cabin. It was so adorable and the view was unmatched. This was our back deck, where we spent a lot of our time. I mean, the beach is RIGHT THERE!

Oh, this place. My soul felt so at peace, here. I miss it so much.

We were going to go find a burger place my friend suggested, but I started feeling really cruddy and the time spent in the car was really hard on my body. So, we stayed "home" and Matt made us waffles with the most lovely local fruit.

After dinner, we sat on the deck and sipped wine, waiting for sunset. I HAD to get my first beach sunset picture!

The next day, we just kind of sat around and relaxed. Matt sat and attempted to draw and I was crocheting on a blanket. Although I felt like poop, the sun was nice. The sunburn, however, was not. Turns out, the boys had stolen my sunscreen, thinking it was theirs. Sigh.

I've never been at the beach long enough to watch the tide roll in and out. It was fascinating to us to watch the landscape completely change. Being in a bay made this even more interesting, as the waves would only crash far out during the day and then eventually hit our beach at night. I loved sitting there listening to the waves in the evenings. I find it so calming for some reason.

Matt went for several walks along the beach during low tide, finding all sorts of treasures and discoveries, including this huge, intact shell. We're used to finding only shards on the California beach, so it was fun to see one whole. I stayed behind. I was really feeling cruddy at this point and just did a lot of sleeping, trying just to function.

That's when it all went downhill. We spent a whole day just laying on the couch watching TV. We just felt too bad to do much else. Luckily, the weather was bad, so we weren't missing too much. Finally, the day before checkout, we felt well enough to venture into town to have lunch at the local seafood place. We had crabcakes for an appetizer, Matt had a shrimp prawn po' boy, and I had dungeoness crab mac 'n cheese. It was UH-MAZING. All of it. Amazing. Insanely expensive, but totally worth it. Later on, we ordered dessert to go. Bananas foster and a brownie sundae that were also amazing. Maybe I was just happy to have my taste buds back. I don't know. But good eats, nonetheless.

Checkout day was windy and rainy. It matched my mood -- I was finally starting to feel better and I had to leave this beautiful place. We enjoyed our time immensely, but I admit a lot of it was a blur because we were so sick. I was so bummed, I cried. I really hope we can go back.

We drove through Portland, a first for both of us, and found some quick breakfast on the outskirts. I had zero interest in stopping, but Matt, of course, is drawn to big cities and wants to explore someday. He'll have to make that trip alone. After my experience in San Francisco, I'm all big city-ed out.

From there, we drove to Boise and spent the night in a really cool hotel that my aunt booked for us. Our room had two stories and a full kitchen! I have never stayed in a place that fancy before. We crashed that night after ordering a pizza and just laid around watching TV all the next day. We went to go pick up the boys that evening and we all cried when we were reunited. They were full of stories and endless chatter. Our alone time was officially over, but I was so thankful to have them back, safe. The following morning, we got up, checked out, found some quick breakfast, and headed home. Our house/pet sitter did a great job taking care of things -- the animals were alive and the house was still standing. What more could I ask for?

As for the boys' trip, you'll have to forgive me for my lack of detail, as I didn't receive much.

The boys had a blast hanging out with my family. They took their Tinker Crate with them to build with Aunt Janice and picked her brain for all sorts of engineering tidbits. And Drew enjoyed a can of olives, evidently. That kid LOVES olives.

The next morning, they got up early and headed to Boise to catch their very first flight!

Rob snapped this picture on the way there. Yup. Southern Idaho.

When they boarded their flight, they were treated like royalty by Southwest. They even got to sit in the cockpit and meet the pilots! They had a fantastic first flight experience and were fascinated by each and every step of the process.

When they landed in sunny San Diego, they went to lunch and In-N-Out (lucky ducks!) and played mini golf before heading to Nana's house.

The next day, they got to go to Disneyland! It was a huge surprise for them, as we have been keeping the secret from them the whole time. We didn't reveal the secret until we dropped them off at my grandparents' house. They were so stoked! Even for a Monday, it was pretty busy there, of course, but they got to ride most of the rides.

The next couple of days, they just took it easy and went to the beach. Here they are taking the train to Oceanside to eat lunch on the pier and search for seashells. They thought that was pretty neat!

The following day, they got to go to SeaWorld. This was a last minute decision made by Aunt Janice before they left. They seriously had a fun-packed week!

Rob's #1 goal for the trip was to get a selfie with a penguin. (I don't get it, either. He's Rob. lol) Despite not going to the San Diego Wild Animal Park as planned, he lucked out and found some at SeaWorld instead. He even bought a little stuffed penguin as a souvenir, which he named Henry. Life goal met. Happy kid.

Drew, however, is obsessed with dolphins. He even got to take one home! He named him Fin.

They enjoyed another down day, laying around and watching movies at Nana's before their evening flight. They had such an amazing week, but they were also super excited to come home. This time, they flew alone, but Alaska handled them beautifully and we had no issues picking them up from the airport. What a fun experience! This opens the doors for other family to take them, now. Hint, hint.

When we got back to our Boise hotel, we let them stay up and eat popcorn and watch Netflix. They were too pumped to go to sleep at that point. It was a great trip for all of us, despite having two, totally different vacations!

And now for the artsy shots. I only took a handful, unfortunately. Sigh. I miss my beach.
Near Cape Meares.

First sunset from our cabin.

A really cool log that was on the beach.

Herons would come to hunt every low tide. It was really neat to watch them.

Such cool birds!

It was so peaceful sitting there on that beach, listening to the waves, feeling the sun.

We took a drive on our last full day and found this paraglider launching spot up on the side of a mountain. It gave us a gorgeous view of the bay.

We kept seeing this stunning bird hopping around our deck. I have no clue what it was, but the blue of its feathers were amazing.

Edit: My friend tells me that this is a Steller's Jay. Thanks, Rebecca! 

Final sunset from our deck. Sigh. I was so heartbroken to have to leave.

So, that was our crazy, split vacation. If you made it this far, good on you! :)

Drew's Baptism

Sunday, April 21, 2019


Very special Resurrection Sunday! My mama's heart is so full. <3 You can view the video of his baptism, including his beautiful testimony, below. Happy Easter!



Drew is NINE!

Saturday, March 30, 2019

 
Drew is OBSESSED with macarons, so I hired a local baker to make him some, along with a small birthday cake. He was very surprised

I don't think his smile could get any bigger.

Happy birthday, Drew!!!

Super awesome birthday macarons! And they're PURPLE!!!

Not only were they adorable, but they were super delicious! We had vanilla, chocolate, lemon, s'mores, and coffee flavored ones. Yum! If you're looking for some quality treats, go check out Mama's Best Bakery in Twin Falls. She's the best!

What a goof! His cake was a purple and orange red velvet cake. It was easily one of the best red velvet cakes I've ever had!

Probably the fanciest card I've ever made. It's always nice to see your efforts appreciated.

Among his gifts, he was given his very own Bible, complete with a spiffy cover, book tabs, and his name printed on the front. I could tell he was trying his best not to cry. Sweet boy.

I'm Thankful for my Depression

Sunday, November 18, 2018

I wanted to be brave and stand and testify about what I'm thankful for at church today, but as past years have shown, that microphone has a habit of making me cry. So, I'll post it here, from the safety and comfort of my empty craft room, where no one can witness the inevitable ugly cry face that will ensue.

As folks stood and shared their stories of trials and praises over the past year, I sat and thought deeply about what I was most thankful for. Salvation definitely makes the top of the list. My loving, patient husband,  of course. My hilarious kids, for sure. God's provisions of all my basic needs and then some, no brainer. But what was I TRULY thankful for? And then a still, small voice fluttered through my brain and whispered, "Be thankful for your depression."

Say what?!

"Be thankful for your depression."

I entertained the thought.

It's brought me closer to God; I finally depend on Him more for my source strength and peace. I talk to Him more often and reach out when I'm afraid or sad. I am more thankful for each day I wake up and each moment I draw breath, knowing just one successful attempt could have changed all that. I enjoy the important things more, like loving on my family and allowing them to love on me. I've been pushed out of my comfort zone and found my voice to try to help others. I smile, laugh, and sing more. But most importantly, I've finally opened myself up to God's love and concern for me, a vulnerability that's most uncharacteristic for me. A deep, parental love unlike anything I've experienced before. I finally understand His grace in light of the great price He paid for me. I finally know true freedom and joy. None of that would have happened if it hadn't of been for my depression. I simply would not have been the same person without it.

So, today, I am thankful for my depression. I'm thankful for the heartache and pain. I'm thankful for the valleys, so I can appreciate the mountains. I'm thankful for the darkness, because it helped me find the light. Thank You, Lord, for loving me when I feel unlovable. Thank You for saving me when I thought I was unsaveable. Thank You for being patient with me when I was bullheaded and in denial. Thank You for carrying me when I had given up hope. I know I still have a long road ahead, but I'm more willing and able than ever to fight for each and every step, knowing He is right by my side. Thank You, Lord. Thank You for my depression.

NMW Tattoo

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

I finally got my NMW tattoo!!! Thanks to car issues, my plans of getting it for my birthday got pushed back, but it worked out. I ADORE my tattoo and feels pretty special since I designed it myself! I have other designs in the works, but that will have to wait until we're a little more financially stable. I'm telling you -- it's addictive!

Main Street Trick or Treat

Saturday, October 27, 2018

I just love the boys' costume choices this year -- a UPS driver and a mad scientist! Fits them perfectly! It was so much fun putting their costumes together and they were super excited to wear them. We always opt for this event over Halloween because it feels so much safer (i.e. during the day, one street, supervised by many adults and law enforcement). You just can't be too careful, these days, unfortunately.

UPS Buddies

Friday, October 26, 2018

Drew surprised Mr. Scott today by greeting him in his Halloween costume. Scott had the biggest smile on his face! :) We plan on printing and framing this photo and giving it to Scott for his upcoming birthday. I love their friendship! <3

Suicide: Your Life Doesn't Belong to You

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

God is greater than our highs and lows.
While scrolling through Facebook the other day, I came across a sad statistic: suicide rates are on the rise, nationwide. In our home state of Idaho, we land at number seven for number of suicides compared to the rest of the country. That statistic was taken in 2016, when they figured there were about 21 suicide deaths per 100,000 people in our state, according to the CDC. That's a significant increase from 2005's numbers, which were 16.5 per 100,000.* While 21 out of 100,000 doesn't seem all that bad at a glance, think about that for a moment. Imagine standing in a room of 100,000 people (an introvert's worst nightmare) and 21 one of them just disappear. Poof! Gone. What if one of those people was a loved one? Would that make a difference? Probably. But the main point, in every article I read, people are stumped as to why these numbers are suddenly creeping up. Being a depression sufferer/suicide survivor myself, I gave it some thought and came to one conclusion: it's all about perspective.

But first, a little backstory about my "journey" through depression, to show I "get it". My earliest memory of wanting to take my life occurred around the age of seven. I remember laying on my bedroom floor, bawling, and begging God to kill me. I don't even remember the circumstances or what sent me in a spiral, but seven-years-old. Let that sink in. Most seven-year-old girls are playing Barbie and dressing up like princesses, but me -- I wanted to die. I have struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide my whole preteen, teen, and adult life. A handful of times, those thoughts turned into actions through self harm and attempted overdose. By the grace of God, I didn't succeed. I have run the gamut of potential cures over the years: medication, counseling, binge drinking -- you name it, I tried it. Everything was only a "band-aid solution" and very temporary. Drugs made me chemically happy, but mostly numb, and the side effects were worse than the symptoms. Counselling was uncomfortable and awkward. Binge drinking...well, that's just dumb. Nothing worked. I still hated myself and wanted to die. I punished myself by cutting and hitting my face. I never felt like I deserved God's love, let alone His grace. In the winter of 2016, I hit my lowest of lows. I stopped eating. I stopped getting out of bed. I stopped caring. If I could have managed it, I would have willed my heart to stop beating. I was deep in a dark pit and couldn't get out. I have found myself in that pit several times in my life, but I've always managed to pull myself out, somehow. This time, it was different. I was tired of trying to claw up the side of that pit. So, I just laid there at the bottom, waiting to die. I have only seen my husband cry a handful of times, but through my fog, I clearly saw him laying beside me, tears in his eyes, begging me to live. Somehow, it sparked something inside me and I began to think about things I had never thought of before: my life doesn't belong to me. It belongs to my husband, my kids, and, most importantly, my God.

This is where the perspective comes in.

In this world of "all about me", people are looking to themselves for their source of joy and salvation, wondering why they can't find any hope or solace. While in the depths of my depression, I find myself looking inward when I should be looking outward and up. If you're constantly looking within for strength, answers, salvation, forgiveness, or grace, you will be disappointed every single time, guaranteed. At our best, we are still broken, imperfect, and sinful beings, incapable of saving anyone, let alone ourselves. We are foolish and selfish to think that this life that God has given us is purely ours, that its absence will not affect anyone, and that we can do with it as we please, including ending it.

Life is a lot like a story, and like any good story, the plot has its highs and lows. Without those things, the reader cannot appreciate the creativity and care of the author. God is the Author of our stories and we have no right to end that story mid-chapter; we are merely characters. Even at Jesus' lowest, rock bottom moment on the cross, He still looked up and praised His Father in Heaven. I think this speaks volumes, that we have a compassionate, empathetic, and sinless Savior. He truly meets us where we're at, understanding completely the depths of our despair,  graciously directing our eyes Heavenward. Hebrews chapter 4, verses 15 and 16, so beautifully illustrate this for us: "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

For some, depression is a season, but for people like me, it's a lifelong struggle. I have fully accepted the fact that I will always have depression; it will always be the thorn in my side. The only thing I can do is choose to either let it take me or to stand up and fight for another day. So, my suggestion to you, if you find yourself in the dark pit today: change your perspective. Get out of your head. Start small, if you must. Listen to an edifying podcast. Listen to uplifting Christian music (bonus points for singing along). Use your God-given gifts to bless someone else. Give yourself visual reminders, if need be (I have a tattoo on my forearm that reminds me to fight -- yours doesn't have to be so drastic/permanent). Read a devotional. Read the Word (read the Psalms -- David definitely understood depression). Prioritize your life and ask yourself, "What am I deeming more important than God?" Whatever that answer may be might actually be the source of your depression. We are not guaranteed happiness and peace in this life, but in light of eternity, this life is so short. If we come to God in repentance and faith, even in our darkest moments, He gives us grace, forgiveness, strength, love, and unspeakable joys in that eternity. He will never turn away any who come to Him in faith (“All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out." John 6:37). But it's up to God to decide when that eternity should begin; all we can do is trust in that timing, no matter what.

*Source

Rob's First Win!

Thursday, September 13, 2018

This kid played hard tonight and is now relishing in his very first win of the season! Go Renegades!

"Official" team photo.

Rob's First Soccer Game

Thursday, September 6, 2018

It was so much fun rooting these guys on! They ended up losing by one point, but they played their little hearts out. Go Renegades!

 






First Day of School

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Rob is starting 5th and Drew is starting 3rd. They're getting so big!




Grandma & Grandpa Marshall Visit

Monday, September 3, 2018

If you're keeping score at home, that's now THREE sets of faraway family that have come to visit us in the past month! It's been a CRAZY month...and now school is starting. I'm so not ready.

We had a good visit with Matt's folks. It was a little strained at first, due to some conflict in the recent past. This was a visit of mending, though; we all want to make this work, despite history and personality clashes.

We did a lot of sitting and talking and playing games. We got to show them some of the prettier places that Southern Idaho has to offer (yes, they DO exist). It was a sweet time and both Drew and Grandma were in tears by the end of it.

Back to real life.

 
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