On November 17th, 2007, our lives changed forever. This time last year, I had just given my life to Christ and was attending church regularly for the first time in years, Matt and I had finally gotten on the same page in our marriage and were growing in our faith together, and I was on my way to my weight loss goals and was doing well in our Biggest Loser Competition. I was finally truly happy for once in my life, but something was still missing. After almost five years of trying, still no baby.After many, many months of hope and then heartbreak, I knew this month would be no different. I'd hope for the best, have my heart broken when I found out I wasn't pregnant, and pray that next month would be "our time". But this time was different. I was five days late - something that never happened. "Just a fluke," I told myself, "It's just from exercising too much. It'll come." It was the night of day five that I decided to take a pregnancy test just to get it out of my mind. I knew it would be negative - they always were. Why would this time be any different?
Matt was sitting down to a late dinner as I snuck into the bathroom to test. "Please, Lord...please let this happen, finally...please..." I begged. Time seemed to slow. "I hate this part," I thought. "All this worry for nothing." I took the test accordingly and watched the "sample" sweep across the tiny window on the test. The first purple line showed up almost instantly - the control that shows the test is working properly. I stared intently at the second test line, looking for any hint of purple. What happened next made me drop to my knees.
There was that second line, as bright as can be! I remember trying to compose myself and control my excitement to think rationally. "Is it...is that...am I...seriously?" I frantically kept looking at the test and then to the directions, back and forth, desperately trying to figure out if I misunderstood the directions or if my eyes were playing tricks on me...but it was neither. The result was true. We were pregnant! Before I really realized it, I was flying out the bathroom and into the living room, feet barely touching the floor. I couldn't hold it in anymore and at the top of my lungs I screamed "WE'RE PREGNANT!!!" Choking on his Lean Pocket and Baked Lays (yes, I remember), Matt jumps out the chair, "What?!" With a huge smile and tears rolling down my face (much like now, as I write this) I say again, "We're pregnant! We're going to have a baby!" "Oh my...God! (excuse the blasphemy - just quoting!) Are you...sure?" He asks, trying hard to contain himself. "I think so! I mean, I'm pretty sure! Look!" I say as I hand him the test and the directions. "Well, it looks like it! Jenn...we're pregnant! We're going to have a baby!" He says letting lose the biggest smile ever. We held each other close, crying and thanking God for giving us what we most ached for for so long.
So many nights, I imagined what that moment would be like and prayed with everything I had for it to happen, but I never completely believed it would. Finally, as a last resort of sorts, I handed it over to God and trusted that someday it would eventually happen. A month after doing so, we found out we were pregnant. God was giving us a child - the most precious of gifts. I am so thankful that I finally got to experience pregnancy, childbirth, and the best of all, being a mother to our beautiful baby boy, Robert. Sometimes, even today, I look at him and tears start welling up in my eyes because I am so grateful for what was given to us through our faith in Him. I will never doubt again.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward." - Psalm 127:3
