I am an extremely poor example of Jesus.

I think a good portion of us believers would admit to that. The world sees a hypocrite -- and some are right -- but there's a good portion of us that are just struggling works in progress.

I freely admit my faults and take no pride in any of them. I say and laugh at inappropriate things, I don't go to church (the spirit is willing, but the body and mind aren't always on board), I have ungracious assumptions about people, my temper and emotions get the best of me, I can be cold and unloving, I have very weak faith at times. Many would probably call me a hypocrite. But what they don't see, when you strip everything away, is my deep, deep love and gratitude for my Savior and my desperate need for Him. You don't hear my imperfect, tear-filled prayers from my place on the floor. You don't know how excited I get to learn more and more about His word and His ways. You don't witness the struggle to trust Him, knowing very well I have no reason to believe I shouldn't. You don't feel the deep sorrow of having to turn to Him in repentance once more, knowing I should know better. Only He gets to experience all that. Anything good you see me is because of Him and I owe everything to Him. I think that's the case for many of us -- we just stink at showing it.

So, don't look to us believers if you're looking for Jesus -- you'll most likely be disappointed every time. Look for Him for yourself, in His word and in His works. Because we believers, though we mean well, are just cheap knockoffs compared to Him, and helpless sinners just like you.

Prayers for our Children

Some family requested that we share with them how they could pray for our boys, specifically. I invite the rest of you to join them, if you're so inclined.

For Drew, my prayer for him would be for God to give him the strength and desire to fight his temptations to sin, to turn to God when darkness overcomes him and to not lose hope, to seek after God in all things and not depend on the what the world has to offer, and to trust and believe that God does love and care for him, especially when he feels like no one else does. I pray that God's voice is louder than the one in his head.

For Rob, to never lose his love for the Lord and to always follow what he knows is true. I also pray that God gives him humility and the courage to fight his own selfishness, to not depend on his knowledge or confidence to the point where he becomes a Pharisee, and to shift his focus on his own plank, rather than someone else's speck. I also pray he gets his litter of children he so badly wants. He will be an amazing father.

For both, I pray that they stay close to each other (and to us, hopefully), even in their adult lives. I pray they take our lessons and failures and learn from them, pray upon them, and apply them to their own lives. If God wills it, I pray He sends them godly women to be their helpmates, to have marriages like He has blessed Matt and I with, and for them to be strong protectors and leaders, but also gentle and loving providers. May they reflect the love of Jesus as they raise families for Him and may the Word be read, revered, and priority in their homes.

May the Lord be glorified, always.

First Day of School

First day of 6th and 4th grade in a brand new school! The boys are attending a traditional school this year, as our usual school plan changed, suddenly. We found out in June that their teacher was unable to teach this year, so we spent the entire summer, it seems, scrambling to get them into somewhere else. But I feel we made a really great choice and where they're going is the best place for them. We feel really good about it and are super excited to see where the school year takes them!

Their first day went well, although one over-confident child got lost, one couldn't get into his locker, and I cried before even leaving the parking lot. This is so vastly different than what they're used to and I've spent many sleepless nights fretting over them. But that's what us moms do, right? We love our kids and want to protect them. It's really tough dancing that line between absentee mother and helicopter mom. You want to let them fly, but you're terrified they're going to fall. But falling is a part of growing and I trust God will take care of them when I can't. They tested out their wings and did just fine. Imagine that.

Rob is ELEVEN!

A baker friend made Rob a trick cake. When he pulled the string, a long roll of one dollar bills came out! It was SO COOL!

Happy birthday Rob!!!

Revamping the Boy's Room

We were all tired of the fights. The clutter. The "red rage" that came over us when we stepped foot into the room. That red had to go -- it was time! It was fun while it lasted, but I honestly think it was setting the tone for fights and frustration. So, we set out to freshen up the boys' room with some new (happier) paint, some new beds, and some much needed storage!

As a reminder, this is what the room looked like before. We tried to go for a race car theme, but the boys are getting too old for that, so we opted for something slightly more mature. We ended up choosing a really nice light blue and boy, did it make a difference!

Day one, Matt and Rob started priming the room, while Drew and I worked on the cabinet doors. Not the most exciting job, but it had to be done and it kept him out of trouble.

Here we are about halfway, after the primer was done. Super bright!

And here is the final color! We tried to keep as much white near the ONLY window. I'm glad we did.

Now came time for the brand new beds! Thanks to Nana and Aunt Janice, the boys were blessed with beautiful new frames and comfy new mattresses. Nana even sent them new sheets. They were so stoked!

The boys really enjoyed helping throughout this whole process. I think it makes them appreciate their room a little more (and hopefully pushes them to take better care of it).

All done and all tuckered out. They were so grateful to have a new comfy room to enjoy!

The boys worked SUPER hard on their room. They spent many days sorting through all their things, getting rid of garbage and any toys they didn't play with. In the end, they were rewarded with a cool, new bean bag chair for their new reading nook, a toy net/hammock for all their plushies, neat rolly storage bins for under their beds, and a new area rug. We still need to tackle their clothes, but for now, we're enjoying the little break from sorting/cleaning/painting.

Here's Drew enjoying the new reading nook. 📚 They both adore this chair! I may have to buy a second one, but so far, they're being good about sharing. For now.

It feels so good to finally be able to purge both bedrooms, and create the inviting spaces that our rooms were meant to be! I know Matt and I have definitely enjoyed our nice, clean space. Now, if we could only keep them that way! 😅

Our Oregon Coast Honeymoon & Their California Adventure

Strap yourself in. You're in for a long post.

This vacation was like no other. Instead of going to one location as a family, we split up and went to two different locations -- the boys went to stay with Nana and Matt and I went to Oregon. It was so weird, and Matt and I were sick the whole week, but it ended up being a trip I would I love to be able to repeat someday. Minus the sickness, of course.

As you know, Matt and I have been married for 16 years now, and we never got a honeymoon. We were dirt poor, then. I always wanted to make up for that and decided that I would love to rent a small house on the Oregon Coast for a week. Matt was game, of course; he loves the beach. Last summer, while my mama and aunt were visiting, the topic came up. My aunt, being the planner that she is, sprung into action, and had a whole vacation planned for all of us by the time she went home. They blessed us not only by taking the boys for a week, but by also funding the whole thing.

Looking forward to this trip is one of the few things that got me through the winter, especially during the depressing months. I just couldn't wait to get to the beach. We deep-cleaned our house for about a month to make it presentable for a house/pet sitter and it stressed us all out immensely. Eventually, it got to all of us and a week before we were supposed to leave, Rob came down with a cold. Paranoid, I ended up keeping them both home that week, to ensure that Rob healed and Drew didn't catch it. Unfortunately in the process, I started to fall victim two days before leaving. Matt followed suit a couple days after that. But we carried on with our plans -- everything was already set and paid for, after all. I was so mad that we were getting sick, after all the hard work and waiting we did. But we tried to make the best of it and I'm thankful that we still went.

We left the boys at my grandparents' Friday evening, even though their flight wouldn't be leaving until Sunday. Matt and I left the following morning, later than we initially planned, but it still worked out. We had stayed up pretty late the night before, still folding and packing for our trip. Not having to shuffle the boys around made getting out the door fairly easy. We picked up a quick breakfast and got on the road. My goodness, it was amazing having an uninterrupted conversation with my husband -- fancy that! We listened to his favorite podcasts and talked about anything we wanted. We had set Rob up with a working phone, so him and I texted each other throughout the day.

I sent him pictures of our journey along the way, especially when we met up with the Columbia River. He thought the different bridges and dams along the river were pretty cool and we dove into a small history lesson on Lewis and Clark's journey to find the Pacific Ocean. I'm not sure how much he shared with Drew, or if Drew was even interested, but it was fun connecting with Rob. Although I enjoyed the lack of kid chatter, I still missed them. A little.

After we reached the turnoff to head north to the Tri Cities area, it was completely new territory for us. Oregon just got lovelier and lovelier the farther west we went. I can see the draw to live there. Please excuse my crappy phone photos. My nicer photos of the beach are at the end. It's what I had with me at the time. Here you can see Mount Hood ahead of us, draped with a blanket of snow. Beautiful.

We made our first stop for the night in Molalla, Oregon, where my dear friend, Rebecca, lives. I have known Rebecca for about three or four years online; we actually met on Etsy, as we were both sellers that happened to patronize each other's shops. From there, we started connecting over Facebook, sending each other cards and other goodies via mail. As soon as Matt and I decided where we were going for our trip, I contacted Rebecca to ask her if she was at all interested in maybe meeting up, since we would be driving by, anyways. She didn't hesitate in her answer whatsoever. I booked a hotel in her town, not far from where she lives, and we met her and her wonderful family for dinner that evening in their home. I was unsure how things were going to go and I figured if it was uncomfortable, we could just have dinner and be on our way. But we ended up staying way late, chatting and eating delicious food the whole time. They are amazingly kind people and I so wish that we lived closer -- I'd really love to hang out with them more! Hopefully someday we'll get the chance to meet up again. We were so beat that night and really starting to feel cruddy, but it was so worth the visit.

The next morning we got up and grabbed some quick breakfast and headed for the coast. We had a lot of time to kill, as our cabin in Netarts wouldn't be ready until 4pm. So, we took our time. When we made it to Tillamook, we HAD to stop by the creamery and sample the goods there. Ohmygosh. That was some AMAZING ice cream! We wanted to go back to eat at their cafe there, but we ended up getting too sick and just never made it back, unfortunately. Future trip, I hope.

Also in an effort to waste time, we toured the various state parks in the area. This was the drive near Cape Meares. I couldn't help but be in awe of just how lush and green this part of Oregon was! Coming from dry and barren Southern Idaho, I guess it's not a huge surprise. I drank it up, mainly because it reminded me so much of where I grew up in North Idaho.

Finally, we were able to get into our cabin. It was so adorable and the view was unmatched. This was our back deck, where we spent a lot of our time. I mean, the beach is RIGHT THERE!

Oh, this place. My soul felt so at peace, here. I miss it so much.

We were going to go find a burger place my friend suggested, but I started feeling really cruddy and the time spent in the car was really hard on my body. So, we stayed "home" and Matt made us waffles with the most lovely local fruit.

After dinner, we sat on the deck and sipped wine, waiting for sunset. I HAD to get my first beach sunset picture!

The next day, we just kind of sat around and relaxed. Matt sat and attempted to draw and I was crocheting on a blanket. Although I felt like poop, the sun was nice. The sunburn, however, was not. Turns out, the boys had stolen my sunscreen, thinking it was theirs. Sigh.

I've never been at the beach long enough to watch the tide roll in and out. It was fascinating to us to watch the landscape completely change. Being in a bay made this even more interesting, as the waves would only crash far out during the day and then eventually hit our beach at night. I loved sitting there listening to the waves in the evenings. I find it so calming for some reason.

Matt went for several walks along the beach during low tide, finding all sorts of treasures and discoveries, including this huge, intact shell. We're used to finding only shards on the California beach, so it was fun to see one whole. I stayed behind. I was really feeling cruddy at this point and just did a lot of sleeping, trying just to function.

That's when it all went downhill. We spent a whole day just laying on the couch watching TV. We just felt too bad to do much else. Luckily, the weather was bad, so we weren't missing too much. Finally, the day before checkout, we felt well enough to venture into town to have lunch at the local seafood place. We had crabcakes for an appetizer, Matt had a shrimp prawn po' boy, and I had dungeoness crab mac 'n cheese. It was UH-MAZING. All of it. Amazing. Insanely expensive, but totally worth it. Later on, we ordered dessert to go. Bananas foster and a brownie sundae that were also amazing. Maybe I was just happy to have my taste buds back. I don't know. But good eats, nonetheless.

Checkout day was windy and rainy. It matched my mood -- I was finally starting to feel better and I had to leave this beautiful place. We enjoyed our time immensely, but I admit a lot of it was a blur because we were so sick. I was so bummed, I cried. I really hope we can go back.

We drove through Portland, a first for both of us, and found some quick breakfast on the outskirts. I had zero interest in stopping, but Matt, of course, is drawn to big cities and wants to explore someday. He'll have to make that trip alone. After my experience in San Francisco, I'm all big city-ed out.

From there, we drove to Boise and spent the night in a really cool hotel that my aunt booked for us. Our room had two stories and a full kitchen! I have never stayed in a place that fancy before. We crashed that night after ordering a pizza and just laid around watching TV all the next day. We went to go pick up the boys that evening and we all cried when we were reunited. They were full of stories and endless chatter. Our alone time was officially over, but I was so thankful to have them back, safe. The following morning, we got up, checked out, found some quick breakfast, and headed home. Our house/pet sitter did a great job taking care of things -- the animals were alive and the house was still standing. What more could I ask for?

As for the boys' trip, you'll have to forgive me for my lack of detail, as I didn't receive much.

The boys had a blast hanging out with my family. They took their Tinker Crate with them to build with Aunt Janice and picked her brain for all sorts of engineering tidbits. And Drew enjoyed a can of olives, evidently. That kid LOVES olives.

The next morning, they got up early and headed to Boise to catch their very first flight!

Rob snapped this picture on the way there. Yup. Southern Idaho.

When they boarded their flight, they were treated like royalty by Southwest. They even got to sit in the cockpit and meet the pilots! They had a fantastic first flight experience and were fascinated by each and every step of the process.

When they landed in sunny San Diego, they went to lunch and In-N-Out (lucky ducks!) and played mini golf before heading to Nana's house.

The next day, they got to go to Disneyland! It was a huge surprise for them, as we have been keeping the secret from them the whole time. We didn't reveal the secret until we dropped them off at my grandparents' house. They were so stoked! Even for a Monday, it was pretty busy there, of course, but they got to ride most of the rides.

The next couple of days, they just took it easy and went to the beach. Here they are taking the train to Oceanside to eat lunch on the pier and search for seashells. They thought that was pretty neat!

The following day, they got to go to SeaWorld. This was a last minute decision made by Aunt Janice before they left. They seriously had a fun-packed week!

Rob's #1 goal for the trip was to get a selfie with a penguin. (I don't get it, either. He's Rob. lol) Despite not going to the San Diego Wild Animal Park as planned, he lucked out and found some at SeaWorld instead. He even bought a little stuffed penguin as a souvenir, which he named Henry. Life goal met. Happy kid.

Drew, however, is obsessed with dolphins. He even got to take one home! He named him Fin.

They enjoyed another down day, laying around and watching movies at Nana's before their evening flight. They had such an amazing week, but they were also super excited to come home. This time, they flew alone, but Alaska handled them beautifully and we had no issues picking them up from the airport. What a fun experience! This opens the doors for other family to take them, now. Hint, hint.

When we got back to our Boise hotel, we let them stay up and eat popcorn and watch Netflix. They were too pumped to go to sleep at that point. It was a great trip for all of us, despite having two, totally different vacations!

And now for the artsy shots. I only took a handful, unfortunately. Sigh. I miss my beach.

Near Cape Meares.

First sunset from our cabin.

A really cool log that was on the beach.

Herons would come to hunt every low tide. It was really neat to watch them.

Such cool birds!

It was so peaceful sitting there on that beach, listening to the waves, feeling the sun.

We took a drive on our last full day and found this paraglider launching spot up on the side of a mountain. It gave us a gorgeous view of the bay.

We kept seeing this stunning bird hopping around our deck. I have no clue what it was, but the blue of its feathers were amazing.

Edit: My friend tells me that this is a Steller's Jay. Thanks, Rebecca! 

Final sunset from our deck. Sigh. I was so heartbroken to have to leave.

So, that was our crazy, split vacation. If you made it this far, good on you! :)